Q & A #. How exciting.

Today I take the first question from the mail bag. At least I get some computer time, my master was watching some bad TV show on Hulu earlier. He was laughing at it, but it didn't seem like it was supposed to be funny.

Now that I think of it, I don't know if I should call him my master. He cleans up after me, brings me food and water, and sometimes treats, maybe I should just call him my friend. That sounds good. Anyway, on to the question.

Dear Quincy, (ed. I need to come up with a cool name for this part of the blog. )

We just got a new dog recently in our household. We had many, many people telling us what kind of dog to get, where to get it from; it was quite a stressful experience. Anyway, now we have him and are having a bit of trouble.

So far he has found a spot in my husband's office that he likes to pee in. It's a small corner (well, it's kind of a rounded corner), but it is starting to stink and we can't get him to stop. Then, a few weeks ago he chewed up one of my daughter's shoes then ended up throwing up a small portion of it on a Very Important Person's foot. It was very embarrassing. I've also caught him near my garden a few times. So far he hasn't gone in there, but I'm worried he's going to get in there and chew up all our food. If he does I think I'm going to lose it. The problem is, no matter what happens, we cannot get rid of the dog. Let's just say people would make that a very difficult time for us if we did.

Any suggestions?

Michelle

Washington DC

Michelle,

That's it? Wow, he's a pretty good dog. You should see what I do to irritate my family so they will play with me.

That's really all I'd suggest. Take him for more walks. Have the kids run around the house with him. Heck, hire someone to play with him. If he's too exhausted to get in trouble, he won't get into any. I think he's trying to get your attention.

For the garden, plant some chili peppers around the perimeter. If he gets one of those first, he will leave the rest alone. Trust me.

That's all for today. I need to take nap. A dog's life is hard you know.

I'm Back!

Sorry for the long absence, my family went away and I was at Tucker Pups for a little over week. After that I was just too wiped out to do anything. Have you ever tried to rest with 25 other dogs running around you? It isn't easy. Not that I didn't have fun, but some of those dogs just won't let you catch a breath. And those little dogs, you know the yippy ones, they are annoying. They never stop barking, and they bark at anything. They bark at bugs for for dog's sake.

Also, my family has been at the computer every since they've been home. How many times do they have to look at pictures from the vacation they just came back from? That they didn't take me on? Don't they feel at least a little guilty? I have heard them say it was really hot there, so maybe it's not so bad that I was in Chicago.

This is what I've been doing since I got home; for the most part at least.

Let me tell you, that tile feels nice on a hot day. I've discovered these little portholes on the floor that blow cold air too. Those are nice to lay on top of, though everybody keeps telling me to get off of them all the time. How hot can they possibly be, they have so little fur?

I have to go now, but I'll be back soon with more Q&A stuff. The mailbag is full.

The dog's of "UP"

I didn't get to see UP with the family this weekend. For some reason they don't let dogs in the movie theaters. What do they think I'm going to do, eat peoples popcorn and candy? Okay, maybe I would, but that's still not a reason to not let me see a movie that has talking dogs. 

I've seen the commercial many times at home, and the kids have watched the trailer on the computer as well. I think Mike was more interesting in watching the trailer than the kids were, but he's just a big kid sometimes. I liked the idea of the talking dogs in the movie, but I wish they came to me first. I don't think the dogs thoughts were all that accurate. 

See, we don't constantly think about how much we love our masters. Most of the times we are thinking about food or what that particular smell is and where it's coming from. And we aren't that fixated on squirrels. Cats, yes, but not so much squirrels. Besides, are there many squirrels in the forests of South America? How did those dogs even know what a squirrel was? 

See, this is why movies need to have more technical advisers. I'm sure they talked to people of rain forests and dirigibles, but did they bother trying to find out what a dog really thinks about? No. 

Would I like to have one of those collars to communicate with humans? I don't think so. It's much more fun to listen to them talk to me like fools trying to figure out what I want. "Want to go out? Want some water? Need to go potty? What? What do you want?! I'm trying to watch TV here?!" 

Another fun thing is to walk to the door and have someone open the door for me and ask me if I want to go outside. Then I just stand there and drive them crazy while I stand half-in and half-out of the door. If I had a collar I'd have to tell them that I just want to see if anything interesting is outside. What fun is there in that? 

So, no, I wouldn't want one of the collars. Also, I'd like the next movie with talking dogs to contact me before making us look silly. 

Now I need to go and pretend like I need something.